Research shows that rates of bullying are higher in the United States than in other countries, although there is no clear understanding of why that is. Fortunately, more attention is being paid to the problem now than at any time in the past. Many schools have instituted anti-bullying programs, and others are being encouraged to do so.
Helping Children Resist Bullying
More than anything, the victims of bullying need friends. A child who is part of a group is less likely to be victimized, and friends provide both social and psychological support. Friends also help provide confidence, and confidence makes it less likely that a child will attract a bully's attention.
Teachers may be able to help bullying victims connect to their kinder classmates by seating them together or pairing them on collaborative projects. School clubs and activities where children who share particular interests come together also are useful. Developing skills and talents like art, music, or athletics help children build self-esteem, confidence, and the approval of other children.
Children also can build friendships through out-of-school activities. Organizations like Scouting and 4-H Clubs are particularly good choices because status in those groups is based on accomplishment rather than appearance or conformity to popular conceptions of "cool." Such groups also mix age groups, providing older children and adolescents who can serve as positive role models.
Children should be taught which adults they can go to for help if they feel threatened or abused, and learn that reporting bullying is not "tattling." Children can practice role playing such situations with their parents, so they know what to say and the best ways to say it.
Of course, all children need safe and loving home environments, with parents who are available and responsive. They must feel safe, physically and emotionally, and feel no need to hide negative feelings. Parents who can listen calmly and sympathetically feel safer than parents who react overemotionally – and who seem likely to go out and do something their children might find embarrassing.
Special Needs Children
Some children demand extra patience and understanding. They may have poor social skills; they may act impulsively or be overly talkative; they may be hyperactive, learning disabled, or have other medical or psychological problems. Since many adults have problems with such children, it is reasonable to expect that children will as well – even children who are not inclined to be bullies under normal circumstances.
Those suffering the most severe problems probably are receiving specialized care and counseling already, but those whose problems are less severe still may need the help of professional counselors to help them learn more acceptable and appropriate behaviors. The sooner help begins, the sooner their lives will improve.
School Programs to Combat Bullying
Every elementary and middle school should have ongoing anti-bullying programs, and where they do not exist, parents should help get them started by proposing them at meetings of their local school boards. It is best to begin by mobilizing the support of the school's parent or parent-teacher organization, and the teacher's union may be happy to lend its support as well.
A single assembly program or classroom presentation does very little good – anti-bullying programs should be an integral part of the school curriculum. Remember that what may be needed is a fundamental change in the way most children think about and respond to some children bullying others. Excellent resources are available from the United States Department of Health and Human Services, and school districts leaders also should investigate the extremely effective Olweus Bullying Prevention Program from Clemson University.
See also:
Bullying – Who Are the Victims?
Bullying – Who Are the Bullies?
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