Children and Discipline
How to Raise a Well Behaved Child by Implementing Limits
There are some fundamental techniques for disciplining children that have worked time and time again. These techniques will help any child become better behaved.
With shows like Supernanny and Nanny911 on TV teaching out of control children in dysfunctional houses, many people are watching in horror as they see scenes from their own life played on TV. Luckily, this doesn’t mean that the family is a failure, even when the kids talk back, refuse to do chores or watch the parent make mistakes. If that were the case, there would never be hope as all families go through some rough spots of discipline. There are several fundamentals that can be implemented by the parents to help smooth out the rough spots and get the family back on track where it belongs:
Setting Limits
This is one of the most important fundamental aspects in discipline. After all – how would a parent ever know when to implement discipline if there is no “line in the sand” to cross?
Communicate the Limits
Everyone in the family needs to understand what those limits are. For younger children, this may mean picking up dirty clothes every day or for older children, mowing the grass once a week or coming home by 11:30 on weekends. Whatever the limit that is deemed appropriate, everyone must know the rules. Gentle reminders prior to the expected action are a loving way to continue open communications.
Be Prepared to Act
Parents – one gentle reminder of the limit is good and loving. Be prepared, though, with an appropriate, proportional consequence. A small child should not be grounded for a week for failing to pick up dirty clothes after a bath. A small time-out or a tougher reminder may be more appropriate.
Expect Compliance and Praise
When the child does follow the limit, make sure you express your appreciation for their actions. Do not bribe with food or even money as this sends the wrong message that their “goodness” can be bought. But – a loving thank you, a note of appreciation or even a reason why the parent appreciates the limits are worth more to any child than money! Letting the child know that when he puts his dirty clothes in the basket, it makes laundry day go so much faster and allows more play time.
Keep Personal Feelings Out
Don’t take non compliance personally. When limits are broken or in some cases, blown right through, the child is testing the will of the parent. It’s not a personal assault or attack, so parents must be the role model in keeping feelings out of the entire process.
Parenting is never an easy process and anyone who says otherwise has probably never been a parent. Children will test limits, children will frustrate parents and parents will lose their tempers or react inappropriately. The important idea for implementing a discipline program in the house is to remember that it will never be perfect. Allow for a few mistakes while working towards being consistent and caring. Remember, effective discipline helps a child grow into an adult a parent can be proud of.
