A parent's worst nightmare is the child who runs off without listening, leading to embarrassment, frustration and eventually fear and pain as the child does something dangerous. Having a child listen to instruction and obey the first time is possible with just a few easy changes in the discipline routine.
Parenting Children Requires Good Choices
It is vital that the parent whose children do not obey first takes a moment to step back and look at the commands the child receives each day. Asking children to obey commands that cannot really be enforced or are not important to enforce is a waste of time and will only reinforce the idea that the child need not obey. Parents should ask children to do something only when the child must obey the command. This requires parents to begin to pick battles.
Those things that parents ask their child to do or stop doing must be things that the parent follows through with to require obedience. This means if the child is asked to pick up her toys, she has to pick up the toys. If he is asked to tie his shoes, he must sit down and tie his shoes. Otherwise the lack of follow through will only perpetuate the lack of obedience.
Disciplining Children Requires Parents to Give One Warning Only
Proper obedience happens when a child listens and obeys the first time. Disciplining a child for not obeying must happen only after a warning is given. For example, if the child must tie his shoes to not trip while playing outside, the parent can first ask with expected obedience:
Johnnie, please tie your shoes so that you do not trip.
Then, if the child continues to play without listening, the parent gives a warning:
Johnnie, if you do not stop and tie your shoes right now, you will have a time-out in your room for 10 minutes.
Then, if the child continues to play without listening, the parent has a specific consequence to follow through with. The 10 minute time-out is the child's discipline. This warning can look different depending on the child and the situation. Counting to three is a great way to provide a specific time-line for requiring obedience. Older children can understand consequences for not obeying and can be put in time-out or lose privileges.
Consistent Discipline Leads to First-Time Obedience
With the proper use of a warning attached to a consequence, parents have a built-in method for disciplining children. Through consistent use of this one-warning discipline system, children will learn to listen and obey the first time they are asked to do something. If a parent continues to be lax and only follow-through with the consequences some of the time, the child will continue to disobey and the cycle will continue.
Children of all ages can be expected to respect and obey authority figures. The younger the child, the more consistent the discipline must be as young children are learning what discipline means. Parents should be prepared for some tough days and some easier days, and every success should be celebrated.
Learn how to have children obey with a happy heart.
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