It is said that consistency can solve many parenting issues that cause anxiety between both parent and child. In March of 2009, Counselor of behavioral problems, Helen Williams says studies show that parents who stick to rules and proper discipline are more likely to experience less chaos and arguments, allowing for a more peaceful relationship. As a child‘s mind develops, the brain will naturally process messages, but in order for these messages to make sense they need to be steady. Consistent parenting can give a child a great start on self discipline and lead to positive communication with adults.
Learn What it Means to be Consistent
In order for parents to be consistent, they must stick to the rule “no” means “no.” Parents must set appropriate boundaries and enforce them on a day to day basis. This begins to give the child a sense of responsibility, as he or she learns what is expected of his or her behavior.
Many parents don’t want to be the bad guy who has to argue with their child over and over again, therefore they end up giving up, allowing the child to get his or her own way. Example: If a child is sent to time out for misbehaving and is resistant to staying in time out, the issue can't be ignored. It is often suggested that a parent should sit with the child in time out for the amount of time necessary, one minute per age. If the child is three years old, the child would need to sit in time out for three minutes. This lets the child know that there are consequences for his or her actions.
The Importance of Setting Boundaries and Sticking With Them
After a long tiring day many parents are willing to push aside the rules, allowing their child to get away with deviant behavior. The more leeway a parent gives a child, when it comes to rules, the more likely the child will push those boundaries as far as he or she can. Some parents ignore the child’s behavior to the point where they become overly aggravated, causing them to blow up in frustration. This can be extremely unhealthy for a child, and will only lead to confusion.
If a parent stays on top of the rules and regulations, assuring that the child knows he or she will not get away with bending any rules, life will be easier for both parent and child in the long run. A child will respect adult authority when raised in a structured environment. It is known that a child is much happier, and more likely to develop a healthy bond with parents when shown consistency.
Using Positive Reinforcement with a Child
Aside from boundaries and consequences, it is also essential that parents use positive reinforcement with their child. If a parent sees that the child has shown improvement in a specific area in which he or she has struggled with, it is important to address the issue with a positive remark. An example would be: “I see you have been sharing with your sister today, I am very proud of your behavior.”
Sometimes it’s often helpful if the child has a way to earn rewards through positive behavior, such as stickers, trips to the park or library, or even a small prize jar. This gives the child an incentive to want to improve the areas in which he or she struggles.
For those who have never practiced consistency, keep in mind it is never too late. Parents may have to work a little bit harder, although it’s always well worth it in the end. Following these guidelines will help parents to raise enjoyable children who are more likely to develop healthy relationships with others. The stress level between parent and child will be significantly lower. Many studies, including those conducted through Mommie 911, have shown, there are many benefits when giving a child the gift of consistency.
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