Kids come with different temperaments that range from easy, cautious to spirited. Understanding a spirited child can help parents support their child in her need for physical activity, difficulty with rules and finding ways to relax more. Parents can start helping their busy bee child as soon as she is toddling by providing her with ways to outlet her energy positively, helping her with controlling her emotions and making rules easier for her to be a part of.
Get Moving With a Spirited Child
Spirited kids have a lot of energy and what better way to burn it off than to let them run around outside. Try to make time for heading outdoors every day by going to a local park or playing active games like soccer or tag in the yard. If that is not possible, see about finding a community centre that offers a children’s gym time for running around or find an indoor physical activity for them to join. Community centres offer a wide range of activities, available for toddlers to teens. Families can also hit up the local swimming pool or skating rink to get a good workout.
Have Back-up Activities
Help spirited children focus their energy. Have a variety of indoor activities at the ready, especially for those rainy days. Playing with play dough, finger-painting, coloring with crayons, cutting and pasting are great hands-on fun. Families can also enjoy doing puzzles, building blocks and indoor games like Hide and Seek together.
Be Consistent With Rules
Spirited kids tend to push the boundaries more and rebel against a lot of rules. They can also act out if limits are not consistently enforced. It doesn’t mean parents can’t be flexible once in a while, but when they relax a rule, they need to be clear with children that this is a special exception and not a change of the rule.
Make Following the Rules Fun
Using threats or pleading with spirited children rarely ever works. Parents are better off finding way to gain a child’s interest and cooperation in following rules. Moms and dads can do this by providing children with choices when possible and within reason. For example, kids still have to go to bed at a set time, but parents can let kids choose which books they are going to read before bed and what pyjamas they want to wear.
Watch out for Overstimulation
Spirited kids may want to go-go-go, but it’s important for them to get proper rest. Kids who are overtired can have more troubles controlling their emotions and can be more prone to accidents. It can be hard for energetic kids to relax and go to sleep because they can be so excited about what they are doing. It’s important to avoid over stimulating kids before bedtime. That means turning off the loud music and TV and no roughhousing. A few hours before they go to sleep, parents can help kids wind down by playing relaxing quiet music, putting on some white noise and turning the lights down low.
Help Spirited Kids With Social Skills
Talk to kids about how using their words can be very helpful. For example, if a spirited child wants to play with a toy another child has, parents can help her find a toy to trade with and explain how smiling and talking nicely will increase her chances of being able to play with the toy.
Also help kids learn how to express their feelings instead of resorting to temper tantrums or physical violence. Ask kids if they are feeling mad or sad about a situation. Or a parent can name the feeling and help kids deal with the situation. For example, “Sometimes we feel cranky when we can’t get what we want. Feeling upset can be a big emotion, but the good thing is that it will go away. Do you want a hug or some space to help you deal with your feelings?”
Keep Calm
Sometimes the wild antics of spirited children can try parents’ patience. But, moms and dads need to do their best not to overreact to every naughty word or misdeed. Children might behave badly, but parents don’t want to do the same by yelling and screaming in return. Find ways to stay calm and even better, teach children relaxing techniques like taking slow deep breathes.
Remember the best way to deal with spirited children is to incorporate physical activity into their day, make sure they get enough sleep, help them build their social skills and role model staying calm. It’s also important for parents to make rules consistent and build in choices for kids where they can.
References
Karp, Harvey. The Happiest Toddler on the Block: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-Behaved One- to Four-Year-Old. NY: Bantam Dell, 2002.
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