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Dealing with MisbehaviorHow to handle tantrums, meltdowns and other behavior nightmaresDread outings for fear that the withering stares of other parents will make you feel worse than your child's kicking and screaming? Read on for ideas on keeping your cool
Its happened to all of us at one time or another. A trip to the grocery store or mall goes bad with the arrival of a terrible storm - otherwise known as the dreaded temper tantrum. What's a parent to do? Here are a few suggestions: 1. Refuse to give in - as anxious as you may be to stop the screaming, giving in gives your child the message that tantrums are the way to get what she wants. In other words, giving in reinforces the behavior and practically guarantees that you will see it again. 2. Parent with the big picture in mind - A pinch, swat or stern word may seem like the best solution, but is it really? Chances are good when you take a tired, hungry, or overstimulated child to the store that his behavior won't be the best. Consider trying an approach that shows compassion and understanding rather than a short term solution that makes you both feel worse. 3. Plan ahead - We all know this, but sometimes we forget and do it anyway. If at all possible, don't take tired children to the store. Other tips for planning ahead - Travel with a mommy bag. Keep toys and other goodies that help your daughter stay busy while you shop. If appropriate, find ways to involve her. Try role plays - make a game at home of practicing what good behavior at the store looks like. Give clear directions - Avoid vague directions such as "be good." Instead, tell your children exactly what you mean e.g. walk in the store, use your inside voice, don't take things off the shelves without permission, etc. Practice good self-care - when you feel good you are better prepared to meet the challenges of parenting with patience. 4. Ignore the stares - You know the ones, those smug stares that seem to say, "why can't you do something with your child?" Let them stare. You'll never see them again anyway, and its the relationship with your child that matters most. 5. Say what you mean - if you say, "please sit quietly in the cart or please walk quietly beside me or we will leave the store," make sure you are prepared to follow through. When you say things you don't mean the things you say don't mean a thing. And above all...keep your sense of humor!
The copyright of the article Dealing with Misbehavior in Parenting Methods is owned by Barbara Gibson. Permission to republish Dealing with Misbehavior in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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