Two words that many people think are synonymous, but are actually quite different, are discipline and punishment. It is easy to see why the two terms are often confused when Merriam-Webster’s on-line dictionary defines discipline as punishment. Likewise, another on-line dictionary states that discipline is punishment inflicted by way of correction and training.
It certainly seems that punishment is a common-use definition of discipline. But, are there differences in these two terms?
Discipline
Besides punishment, Merriam-Webster gives several other definitions for the word discipline. Training that corrects and molds the mental faculties and moral character is the definition that is most in line with the basic concepts of gentle discipline.
Parents are charged with training their children and working to develop their moral character. This can not be done with the use of harsh punishment. But, discipline is a must to help children learn how to work and live in the world.
Structure, guidance and boundaries are all a crucial part of gentle discipline. A child can not learn how to behave in the world without a parent guiding the way. The goal is to teach a child to have self-discipline and self-control. Harsh punishments do not teach self-discipline. They teach a child to behave out of fear. But, once the source of that fear is gone, the child is left without any moral guide posts.
Punishment
Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines punishment as suffering, pain or loss that serves as retribution or as a penalty inflicted on an offender through judicial procedure. It’s interesting to note that it does not use the word discipline to define punishment in any instance.
According to definitions, it seems that punishments can be a part of discipline, while not being the whole of discipline.
Punishments, however, aren’t always a bad thing as far as gentle discipline is concerned. Certainly, harsh punishments, like spanking, are to be avoided. But, less harsh punishments, like time-outs or loss of privileges are not incompatible with gentle discipline when they further the aim of teaching self-control.
Gentle Discipline Alternatives to Punishment
- Natural Consequences – Let the natural course of events dictate what the learning experience is for the child. If the child is mean to his friends, they may not want to play with him anymore.
- Logical Consequences – Decide logically what the course of action should be when a child is uncooperative or misbehaves. If a child refuses to put on sunscreen at the beach, then it is time to go home to prevent the child from getting sunburned.
- Prevention – Many instances of misbehavior can be prevented by feeding children healthy food, ensuring children get enough sleep and ensuring children get enough parental connection time.
Discipline and punishment are not synonyms, though it seems that punishment is a part of the definition of discipline. Still, parents can decide for themselves whether gentle punishment is going to be a part of their discipline strategy.
Sources:
Merriam-Webster on-line dictionary, definitions for discipline and punishment, accessed on May 15, 2008
Dictionary.com on-line dictionary, definition for discipline, accessed on May 15, 2008
