Don't Allow Children to Make the Rules
Many Parents Let Their Children Control Them and Dictate Events
Oct 27, 2009
Humans are by nature selfish, including tiny babies. They learn quickly how to get the things they need by manipulating those around them. With loving discipline and training, it is possible to convert this self-centered behavior to more acceptable, family centered focus.
Learn to Say No
One of the hardest things for parents to do is to say no to their children. It it best to start saying no when children are young, even babies. By establishing clear boundaries, kids will learn right from wrong, safety from hazards, and understanding of parental expectations.
Saying no throughout a child's life will help him or her learn that they are not the center of the world. As they grow into teens, they will be able to accept that they need to make choices between activities. This minimizes stress with scheduling problems and instills a sense of family first, not child first.
Helpful Tips for Saying No
- Learn Sign Language for No. Small babies learn signs much quicker than speech. Every time no is used, it can be supplemented with the sign for no, which is formed by placing the first and second fingers over the thumb, down to the first knuckle. Learning the sign will help silently advise children throughout their lives.
- Be Consistent. Saying no effectively requires consistency. The first time there is an inconsistency, the child will notice and try to use it to his or her advantage, that is just human nature.
- Explain why. When children are small, it is important to explain why, safety, rules, or personal convictions will help instill these values into a child. As they grow, the reasons why will no longer be as necessary.
Provide Activity Choices
Whenever possible, children should be given options, but not at the expense of consistency. When signing up for extracurricular activities like sports, band, and other events, set limits on how many of these activities they should be allowed to do. Doing too much creates hectic schedules, increases tension, and negatively impacts family time.
Give Warnings to Influence Behavior
Sometimes kids do get wrapped up in their activities. Parents who are in control should monitor the time and give a warning before ending an activity. This makes it much easier when the time is up to actually wrap it up. This works for everything from ending video games to reading before bedtime.
Do Interactive Things as a Family
There are dozens of ways to spend time as a family. By doing one or more of the following helps slow down hectic schedules and draws the family close together.
- Mealtimes are often overlooked, but are very important. Although it is practically impossible with teens to meet at every meal, eating together as a family acts as an anchor to a busy schedule.
- Setting aside a family game night is a good idea to draw the family together. A little bit of healthy competition in mind stimulating matters helps establish good family relations.
- Taking family vacations are extremely important. Vacations with the family are some of the most precious memorials children take into their adult hood. They do no have to be perfect or expensive, just fun times with the whole family involved.
Limiting children in certain areas should not be seen as punishment. Setting limits shows children love, the key ingredient in any relationship. Starting late with these ideas is better than never starting at all. Parents are charged with rearing productive and responsible citizens. Allowing children to rule the household retards emotional well being and personal responsibility.
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