Children Learn to Face Consequence
Parents Need to React Calmly rather than Worsening the Crisis
As parents we need to let our children face the consequences instead of responding with a crisis reaction mentality.
As parents, we tend to use a crisis reaction in response to our children’s behavior. When the child behaves in a way we do not like we try to control the child’s behavior. This plan may work in the short term, but when it comes to raising children as parents we really need to be thinking in the long term.
What kind of person are we raising? What will this child be like when they are adults? How will they interact with spouses, children and the world in general? As parents, we need to shift our thinking, our modus operandi and look to the future instead of focusing on the present.
The goal most parents think they are striving for is that someday this child will become an independent adult, capable of functioning in this world. This is not to say, that we want them to cut off all ties to us, but definitely capable of surviving without us. However, how do we successfully navigate the treacherous waters of parenting to achieve this goal?
Not an easy task, but one well worth the effort, as parents we need to take a good look at ourselves. Are we parenting from a crisis reaction model or are we reacting in a preplanned manner? Do we pick up the toys or does the child? This may be a simple illustration, but very applicable. If we take a step back and let the child experience the consequences of her actions, we are taking a step toward an independent adult.
When we take control, by picking up the toys, or buy the thing, she absolutely has to have or she will die, or pay off the credit card debt, we are creating a person who will forever turn to us to solve their problems, to clean up their messes. If we do it all for them, they do not learn. An important step in their development is lost because of our inability to let go.
As parents we need to step back and let the child fall, let them make mistakes and then let them clean up their own messes. We need to teach them there are consequences for their actions and let them face those consequences.
