Families Need Realistic Expectations of Life

Giving The Great American Dream a Reality Check

Aug 18, 2009 Hildra Tague

Many sit spellbound and shellshocked while watching specials on drugs, the economy, and the general state of our society. Maybe unrealistic expectations are to blame.

Maybe it's time to give up the unrealistic expectations, and teach children that life has both ups and downs. Every day isn't bright and shiny, and that's okay.

Fighting Drugs From Within the Soul of Society

Most parents share a contradictory feeling of not wanting to look while sincerely wanting to do their part to keep the community drug-free. Caring people can't help but agonize and ask why.

Some point out how the media and marketplace seems to be offering the "magic cure" by touting a theory that life can stay shiny and perfect if people just discover, and use, the right stuff.

Through no one's fault, people let themselves buy into the myths of efficiency and magic. The myth of efficiency says the best fix for a problem is a quick fix. The myth of magic is that one should keep seeking the perfect pill to eliminate any problem.

Shiny white coats repeat it often, hinting that headaches aren't shiny and shouldn't be allowed. No one mentions ten minutes of a little rubbing, a soft pillow, and even softer music for that headache.

Because the expectation of perfection is never quite reached, people experience constant dissonance between real life and the search for bliss. This is often referred to as stress, has created another market but hasn't quite hit the mark of calming the unrealistic lifestyles.

However, one wonders what the constant barrage of shiny expectation does to the children who see taking a pill as a possible answer, or getting new stuff as the living end. What these habits may create is a variety of roads toward addictive behavior.

Parents Providing Reality Checks to Children

A parent's fear of losing a child to adulthood may cause clinging onto the shiny cuteness and avoiding the reality that most kids get pimples on the way to success. Before long maybe a bit of a paunch, then grey hairs come, and there is such fun to be had on the way! That is, if people understand that shininess comes only once in a while, and dull is a legitimate color. (It's called background.)

Exhorting youth on the dangers and "cold hard facts" of life drives them farther into unrealistic peer pressure. Wouldn't this be a fine day to quit playing like it isn't happening? Avoiding is one thing many do well when it comes to addictive behaviors like drugs, dangerous teen games, and other problems of growing up.

Finding Balance in The Great American Dream

How about slowing down, sharing some control, and grounding in reality while admiring (without worship) the youth's very own dreams? Maybe caring could help uncover a more realistic Great American Dream.

Perhaps the glare of the Shininess Syndrome (where people expect too much) has clouded some of the dream's realization. Realistic people might even help the community and loved ones avoid The Great American Demon of drugs, depression and other dependencies!

Much like the diet market has not made much of a dent in the out-of-control weight gains, neither have the headache remedies and stress market shown true happiness or less headaches.

One might wonder if a few minutes of relaxing might be one way to spell relief. Not enough people try that. Maybe the answers aren't found in the market place but in the hearts, though they are not always shiny.

Parents Modeling Realistic Expectations

This may be an issue worth examining closely by those who would dare to don the khakis of the War on Drugs. Could it be that the good life does not always need to be shiny? Because if all life were like TV commercials, all would be mesmerized, vacant and searching for something else that is easy yet shiny.

Or is this part of what drugs are all about? Perhaps this is where some of the "search for the perfect more" is from. It is sometimes said that people who get involved in drugs had anger and dissatisfaction. Parents should be telling kids often and early that life doesn't have to be marvelous all the time.

Relaxing Standards May Lower Stress Levels

In fact, reconsider the mundane. Much of life is mediocre: diapers, bills, garbage, etc. Yet without this dull side the shine would be forever forbidden. Acceptance of dull moments and even some less than great performance might even bring about a slow down and reduce undue use of pills for many of life's everyday ailments.

Give it a try. Just keep in mind that children do watch and they learn far more from actions they witness than from words they hear. A parent's example may help break the cycle of expecting magic and considering quick but false and addictive fixes. Realistic expectations can reduce stress and the drive toward unattainable perfection. Parents really are the best drug prevention ever!

The copyright of the article Families Need Realistic Expectations of Life in Parenting Methods is owned by Hildra Tague. Permission to republish Families Need Realistic Expectations of Life in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
Family Time as the Ultimate Drug Prevention, phaewilk Family Time as the Ultimate Drug Prevention
   
What do you think about this article?

NOTE: Because you are not a Suite101 member, your comment will be moderated before it is viewable.
post your comment
What is 2+2?