Childhood fear falls under the shadow of misinformation, lump-in-the-throat assumptions, and countless other underdeveloped concepts and uncertainties.
Halloween provides a golden opportunity to discuss the subject of fear with your child. This not only develops needed concepts on a positive level but also avoids post-Halloween anxiety (which often lasts far longer than anyone would dream).
When children have fear it is often dealt with by telling children not to be afraid, when discussion of a larger sort -- especially including listening -- is called for. Such a conversation would help a child gain skills in coping with childhood fear.
Telling a child "Don't be afraid" or "There's no reason to be afraid" puts a lid on much-needed discussion. Fear is a feeling, and as such shouldn't be called wrong, but rather dealt with by respect and frank discussion.
Bringing up the topic of fear offers a child the opportunity to air the concerns and do some much-needed reality testing under the supervision of a caring adult rather than among not so well informed peers as is often the case.
Help Children Understand Their Fear
Concepts to develop include real vs. not real, (monsters, electrical storms, tornadoes, scary television shows); possible vs. not possible (ghosts "getting me" and the chance of falling while running). It is vital to differentiate between fear and danger because kids often cannot make this distinction alone.
Next, talk of fears that help and fears that hurt. Being afraid of traffic or fire can be helpful, whereas undue fear of the dark can be harmful. Understanding fears can help both the child and the parent in learning to cope with being afraid.
Role-Play Fearful Situations with Children
Halloween provides appropriate and controlled experiences for children to deal with fears in a positive, supportive, and even enjoyable atmosphere. Encourage the fantasy side as it provides the perfect moment to make your statement against violence. Use of assertive parenting to set limits regarding the amount of violence portrayed in the costume makes the most of a teachable moment while giving you a chance to share your values with your children.
As you experience Halloween celebrations, enjoy the costumes and food with your child, but don't miss a chance to discuss your child's fears and concerns since some of these activities bring them to the surface.
Together you can share ideas, maybe even make a chart, about what to do in certain situations. Such activities can have the same type of benefit as a fire drill does in public safety.
Remember, youngsters are sometimes trying on roles as well as trying on Halloween costumes.
Talk with Children about Fears
Assure your child that he or she can discuss fears with you openly without any chance of ridicule. At such times, the best Halloween treat you can give your child is that of listening to him or her.
Many children would not dare mention their worst fears, so they hold them in their hearts or act them out in a desperate move toward resolution. They will, however, respond eagerly to an adult willing to listen to them without putting them down as they discuss their fears. Just being listened to with understanding and respect is often significant in the reduction of irrational fears.
It is also helpful, particularly with boys, to affirm that everyone has experienced fear. Otherwise, peer pressure myths often lead children to believe that strong people are never afraid.
Teach Kids Ways to Handle Fear
Here lies a chance to teach children not to believe something just because someone tells it as truth. For example, reiterating not to believe the person next door who tries to scare your child beyond reason can provide good protection against being taken in by strangers, or even acquaintances.
Deal with fear as an opinion rather than an insurmountable fact. When parents help a child to know what is real and not real they show one effective way of dealing with fear: facts. Just starting to understand this concept brings a boost to a child's self-esteem.
Halloween and fall festival time present a chance to deal with childhood fears using open discussion to help your child understand fear, role playing scary situations, and teaching children how to handle fears, thus increasing confidence and skills in managing fears.
This year, make Halloween more than a scare and a snack. After all, spooks deserve to have more fun than fear on Halloween.
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