How to Foster Self-Esteem in Young Children

Teachable Moments Provide Coping and Language Skills

Apr 3, 2009 Dorit Sasson

When teaching about feelings, parents can capitalize on teachable moments to foster self-esteem and coping skills in young children.

When a child feels sad or upset, the best way for a parent or caregiver to respond is to capitalize on the moment without acting on his/her impulse to "fix" a situation. When adults do this consistently, they rob their children of solving their own difficult situations, which fosters self-doubt.

A good way to foster self-esteem and help the child cope with his/her own sadness or anger is by expanding on a teachable moment, which according to Kelly Gable-LaBelle, "is an unplanned event that caregivers and providers can use as a learning opportunity" [Preschool Press, monthly newsletter, March 2009].

Identifying a Teachable Moment

Many times, parents can use teachable moments or unplanned events as a learning opportunity to help foster self-esteem and build a more positive relationship with the child. When adults identify a teachable moment, they can take meaningful steps to teach or expand on something they want the child to learn about.

Kelly Gable-LaBelle, the Director of Early Childhood Services at the Jewish Community Center, in the monthly newsletter to parents writes, "adults [can] identify teachable moments by observing and listening to their children, and by responding in an open-ended way. When we follow the child's lead and respond thoughtfully, we are helping to foster coping skills." [Preschool Press, monthly newsletter, March 2009]

Use the Echo Technique with Young Children

When a child expresses anger or sadness, adults should focus on the child's feelings rather than focusing on their own feelings and opinions. To expand on something adults want their children to learn about, they can use an echo technique that "echoes" their feelings and say something to the extent: "You sound sad."

Use Teachable Moments to Open Conversation

When adults know how their child is feeling, they can then use teachable moments to open conversations and find out what their child is thinking about. These conversations are invaluable in the development of language and coping skills.

Use Teachable Moments to Develop Empathy

Often, adults can use teachable moments to capitalize on an emotional moment by expanding on empathy. An adult can expand by asking open-ending questions rather than providing closed statements such as "This makes him feel sad." A good way to build empathy is by asking the child: "How do you think that makes [name of person(s)] feel?"

Adults can use teachable moments as a way to help a child cope better with the anger or sadness they are feeling without telling the child how and what to feel. In developing self-esteem, children need to be taught that they can cope on their own without depending on an adult for emotional support.

The copyright of the article How to Foster Self-Esteem in Young Children in Parenting Methods is owned by Dorit Sasson. Permission to republish How to Foster Self-Esteem in Young Children in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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