Improving Self-Esteem in Kids
How to Build Self-Confidence in Children and Teens
Learning how to build self-esteem in children and teens is an important part of parenting children, since children begin developing self-confidence at an early age.
Raising children with high self-esteem is an important part of raising children, and parents have the greatest influence on how their kids come to view themselves in the world around them.
What Is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is how one feels about oneself; how much a person likes, accepts, and respects him or herself overall as a person. What one thinks about oneself determines how he feels. Behaviors and actions reflect those feelings, whether positive or negative. Parents are often quick to show frustration, anger and disappointment, while slow to express genuine gratitude, appreciation and praise towards their children.
The overall happiness and success of children primarily depends on parents building self-confidence in their children, as having high self-esteem will have tremendous impact on a child’s success and independence as adults.
Children With High Self-Esteem Are Able To:
- Act independently
- Assume responsibility
- Take pride in their abilities
- Deal with their emotions
- Willingly accept new challenges
- Handle problems efficiently
Children With Low Self-Esteem:
- Feel unloved and unwanted
- Blame others for their own mistakes
- Avoid taking on new challenges or tasks
- Put themselves down
- Discredit their own abilities
- Are easily influenced or manipulated by others
For children to have healthy self-esteem, they must feel that they are loved unconditionally by their parents, with consistent encouragement and praise. Children also need to know that they are seen as capable of doing things for themselves and by themselves.
Many parents do far too much for their children, so much so that their kids get the unspoken message that they are incapable of doing things for him or herself. Think back to when you were trying to help your young child get dressed, or when you were trying to help tie their shoes and your son or daughter said, “Let me do it, I can do it myself!” Children want and need to feel they can do things by themselves, without any help from parents.
Giving children age-appropriate activities, chores and responsibilities within the home, along with praise and encouragement from parents, helps build self-esteem. As soon as children have learned how to walk without help from parents, children can learn to feel good about themselves, their abilities and accomplishments.
21 Self-Esteem Activities For Children:
- Help set the table with spoons, napkins, placemats
- Help clear the table after meals
- Wash the table after meals with a cloth or sponge
- Carry in the mail or newspaper
- Pick up toys, clothes and shoes
- Make their bed
- Help carry in groceries
- Help put groceries away
- Help prepare dinner, wash vegetables, stirring
- Wash kitchen counters
- Make their own lunch
- Sweep, dust or vacuum
- Clean bathrooms
- Sort and fold laundry
- Do their own laundry
- Empty and re-load the dishwasher
- Carry out the trash
- Help with yard work, raking leaves, shoveling snow
- Help with gardening, plant flowers or vegetables
- Feed and walk family pets
- Help wash and clean the family car
How Parents Can Build Self-Esteem In Children:
Parents can help build self-esteem in children and teens, avoiding problems associated with low-esteem by focusing on giving praise and encouraging comments, as well as opportunities to discover and experience success.
If children show an interest in art or drawing, promote self-esteem by providing children with art supplies. Help children discover who they are, promote and encourage their interest in gardening, dance, reading, music, animals etc, and allow children to do for themselves what they are capable of doing safely.
After-school sports or other after-school activities help build self-confidence and a spirit of teamwork, which are important character traits to be learned. Be loving and firm in giving children activities or chores, offer choices of chores to be done so they can learn how to make decisions, and learn consequences of decision-making.
By building healthy self-esteem in children and teens, parents help ensure their kids grow up to become independent, self-sufficient adults as opposed to children who grow up believing the world owes them everything they want.
Further Reading:
Children Who Refuse To Grow Up
