Parenting with a Purpose
Don't let the daily grind distract you from the big picture.
Why did you choose to parent? What are your hopes for your child(ren)? Don't let the day to day act of parenting lead you away from your larger parenting goals.
Parents have very full plates. There's dinner, shopping, laundry, homework, practice, careers, PTA, meetings, housework, and on and on...the list is endless.
Somewhere under that pile of chores and responsibilities is probably your mental parenting list. Do you remember it? It's the list of all the ways you hoped to behave as a parent; all the things you planned to do with your child(ren), and all the reasons you became a parent in the first place.
Use these ideas to dig up your list:
Pull out new baby or adoption photos: Leafing through these pictures can help you reconnect to the dreams you had when you became a parent and relive some of the excitement, joy and wonder you had before you felt like you were running in place.
Consider creating a family mission or vision statement: Many corporations and businesses use these statements to guide their daily work, and clarify their short and long-term goals and plans. Families can also use mission statements as a tool for keeping on track; clarifying family values and guiding daily interactions.
Some things you might include:
- the importance of family time
- expectations for how family members should be treated
- Family values (e.g. saving, education, honesty, etc.)
- the importance of working together to maintain the family home
Don't worry so much about the kitchen floor: You've heard it before and it's still true - at the end of the day it isn't how clean your house is, but the quality of your relationships that really matters.
Don't wait for a perfectly orchestrated moment to share time that matters: Of course, family vacation can be a special time together, but what about all the days in between? Take advantage of the moments you have together while doing the dishes or riding in the car. Use that time to hear about what your child is thinking and to be reminded of all the things you love about her/him.
Keep a parenting journal: When you keep a parenting journal it becomes easier to separate the forest from the trees. This is a great way to shift your focus from what you see as your failures to your many victories both big and small, which will encourage you.
Pen fun in your planner: Notice I didn't say pencil:) Make and commit to fun time as a family, as well as some personal time that allows you to step into another part of yourself. Parents aren't just parents. We're people, too.
