Teach Empathy to Preschoolers

Be a Role Model and Teach Feelings to Develop Empathy in Children

Jun 1, 2008 Barb Hacker

Empathy is the ability to understand how another person feels in a given situation. How and when do young children develop this ability?

Empathy is a skill that most kids don’t have the capacity to learn until they are at least four years old. The early preschool years can be difficult as children enter the world of play dates and school where they are readily exposed to their peers. Parents of those younger than age four are often shocked when their children won’t share, grab toys or hit. This could be because these young children have not yet developed empathy.

Preschool Children Developing Empathy

As reported in the University of Toronto Magazine, Leading Edge, Professor Kang Lee of Zhejiang Normal University in China conducted a study that showed that three year old preschool children had not yet learned how to flatter another person. They judged paintings done by others with complete honesty, even when the painter was present. Children aged four and older began giving more flattering opinions of the paintings when the painter was present than when the painter was not present. This shows that these children have learned to take the feelings of others into account, or to empathize with them.

How to Teach Empathy to Young Children

Learning empathy can be a slow process for some children. It is important for parents to realize that this skill may not emerge until a child is four years old or older, but a parent should still practice and model empathy in the years before that.

Discuss Feelings with Children

Recognizing emotions is a cornerstone for developing empathy. Introduce the concept of feelings to your child from a young age. When your child is displaying a strong emotion, label it for him. This will help him learn to recognize when he feels sadness, anger, happiness, boredom and other emotions.

Read books about feelings, such as Today I Feel Silly: And Other Moods That Make My Day by Jamie Lee Curtis and Laura Cornell [JoAnna Cotler, September 1998].

Talk about your feelings with your child. If your young, impulsive child hits you, tell him that you are mad and that it hurt. If you stub your toe, tell your child that it hurt and that you feel like yelling. Let him know that everyone has feelings. Likewise, point out feelings that you see expressed in others, either in real life, on television or in books.

Parents Must Model Empathy to Children

Parents are always a child’s most important teacher. A child will learn from watching how a parent reacts in certain situations. If you show empathy to your child when he is hurt or sad, then your child will pick up on this and begin showing empathy to others. If you help others, your child will soon learn to lend a hand as well.

While it can be frustrating to parent a young child who has not yet developed empathy, parents can work at teaching skills that will help this trait emerge. Teach empathy by teaching a child to recognize emotions and by being a good role model.

Source:

University of Toronto Magazine, Leading Edge, "When Flattery Rears Its Head", Conrad McCallum, Winter 2008, accessed webpage May 31, 2008.

The copyright of the article Teach Empathy to Preschoolers in Parenting Methods is owned by Barb Hacker. Permission to republish Teach Empathy to Preschoolers in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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