The "terrible two's" can be a terrible time; but this phase need not be so bad. Read on for tips on taming tantrums and turning this stage from terrible to terrific.
Toddlerhood is a wonderful time in a child's life. At this stage your daughter or son is beginning to feel more confident, curious and independent. As you've probably noticed, this is the perfect time for discovery, lots of new accomplishments and, unfortunately, power struggles. Your formerly agreeable little one seems suddenly contrary and battles, big and small, brew over everything. If any of this sounds familiar, this article is for you. I'll list a few tips you can try to knock the wind out of a power struggle and tame the tantrum that often follows in its wake.
1. Offer choices - This strategy creates a win-win scenario because it allows you and your child to share the power. Your child wins because she can make a choice about something that concerns her. You win because you offer only parent approved choices. Of course, some things aren't negotiable. Be careful not to offer a choice when there isn't one. For example, if you know you have to leave the park, don't ask your child to decide between playing a little longer or leaving right away.
2. Talk about what will come next - Help your child know what to expect by talking about your schedule. It's a good idea to do this in the morning and throughout the day if you will be together. Some children really enjoy seeing the schedule. If this sounds like your child, why not pull out some magazines and cut out pictures that represent the places you plan to visit and things you plan to do.
3. Include transition time - Let your child know when it's nearly time to leave an activity or place.
4. Maintain a schedule - Believe it or not, most children find routine comforting. As much as possible, develop a routine that works well with your child's needs including sleep, food, and recreation.
5. Understand your child's temperament - Some children are easily overstimulated or overwhelmed. If that's your child, try to avoid these environments, which can lead to tantrums.
6. Listen and help your son develop a vocabulary to express his frustration, disappointment, etc. - Look for and validate the feelings behind the behavior. When you respond to a frustrated cry by saying, "I know you 're frustrated," or "I know you're angry," you help your child feel understood and you give her some language (rather than screams or cries) that she can use to express future frustrations.
7. Stay calm - As you've probably seen, force against force equals more force. In other words, an angry response will probably not yield the results you are hoping for.
