In Raising Your Spirited Child [Harper Collins, 1991], Mary Sheedy Kurcinka states that the average child often eats only a favorite food, wiggles or refuses to eat at all at the family dinner time. Children who are spirited will have even more difficult behavior at mealtimes. This makes mealtimes an extra challenge for those families.
Whether your child is more spirited than the average child or not, parents of toddlers often struggle with the quantity of food eaten, the child’s refusal to sit at the table and food jags.
Refusing to Eat
A baby triples his birth weight by the end of the first year, but a toddler grows at a slower pace. According to Dr. Bob Sears, this is the reason why a toddler’s appetite is often small. Many parents expect a child to eat more than he needs to. Sometimes all that is needed to make mealtimes less of a battlefield is for the parent to realize that the toddler simply isn’t that hungry and doesn’t need to eat more.
This is an area where patience definitely pays off. In a short time, the child’s appetite will be back. Louise Bates Ames, author of Your Four-Year-Old: Wild and Wonderful [Dell Publishing, 1976] reassures parents that a four-year-old child’s appetite will increase as he approaches age five.
Sitting at the Table
Toddlers are on the move for a large part of their waking hours. Sitting at the table at mealtime is difficult. The child will eventually outgrow this behavior. In the meantime, these strategies may help.
- Some families choose to feed young children earlier than the rest of the family. Then, the parents can enjoy their dinner time conversation while the toddler plays.
- Others choose to start the family mealtime with everyone, including the toddler, seated at the table. Once he is done eating, he is free to get up and play. Requiring a young child to sit at the table after he is done eating will often result in thrown food or other misbehavior.
Food Jags
A food jag is when a toddler insists on eating only one, favorite food. Some toddlers seem to live on macaroni and cheese. Others prefer toast. There are as many variations of food jags as there are toddlers.
Most food jags are harmless, but Bates points out that occasionally a child may crave a food that is actually harmful for him. Sometimes a child will have an allergy or sensitivity to a food that causes either physical or behavioral symptoms. If you suspect this is the case, consult with your child’s pediatrician.
Mealtimes can be difficult for families with toddlers. Many parents worry about the amount of food eaten, the toddler’s refusal to sit at the table and food jags.
Sources:
Dr. Bob Sears, website article, Feeding Toddlers: 17 Tips for Pleasing the Picky Eater, accessed December 23, 2008.
Mary Sheedy Kurcinka; Raising Your Spirited Child. NY: Harper Collins, 1991.
Louise Bates Ames, Ph.D. & Francis L. Ilg, M.D.Your Four-Year-Old: Wild and Wonderful. NY: Dell Publishing, 1976.
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