Kindness and respect do not have to turn into an archaic idea. What children see and hear, they will repeat. How this is done can take on varying forms, depending on each unique family situation. The responsibility lies with parents and caretakers to show children how to be respectful and courteous. In a multi-cultural society, this can become an ever trickier task, though there are consistent behaviors that are found across all customs.
Say Please and Thank You
Simply put, these two niceties should become practically subconscious things that come out of the mouth. Easiest way to achieve this could be practicing at home. When a child asks for something, a “please” should be prompted. When receiving what’s been asked for, or a gift, thanks should be encouraged. When this is done between parents and children on a daily basis, the child is more prone to do this outside the home in a social setting. And as they grow up, they will be the kind, respectful people that say “thank you” to their waiter when he refills their coffee. Encouraging gratefulness includes a good byproduct – not having an “entitlement” attitude.
Resources for Teaching Manners
Teaching children how their actions affect others is a necessary undertaking by parents and caregivers. In their book Teaching Your Children Good Manners, Lauri Berkenkamp and Steven C. Atkins PsyD [Nomad Press, 2001], cover many subjects, from table and phone etiquette to how to behave at a party. They include a questions and answers for common situations and practical solutions, plus a breakdown of age-appropriate expectations.
Another book by Sheryl Eberly titled 365 Manners Kids Should Know: Games, Activities, and Other Fun Ways to Help Children Learn Etiquette [Three Rivers Press; 1 edition, 2001] has, as the title implies, an entire year’s worth of information. This book contains more in-depth details into many aspects of how to behave in various situations.
Model Good Manners for Kids
A student is only as good as his teacher. The parents should implement these character traits in themselves consistently before expecting the child to be a picture of respect and thoughtfulness. Enforcing good behavior with acknowledgment is key. Children appreciate when their efforts are recognized, and they will continue to do what they gets attention. Creativity will find opportunities to show good manners in every situation.
Teaching children manners is an achievable job when it is formed into a consistent and fun routine.
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