Your Explosive Child: Strategies

You can help change your child's challenging behavior

Nov 10, 2006 Barbara Gibson

Believe it or not, explosive behavior is as hard on kids as it is on parents. You can help yourself and your child with new strategies and a can do attitude.

The phone rings and you hold your breath hoping it isn’t the school calling…again. Dealing with an explosive child behind closed doors is difficult enough, but when the additional pressure of managing these episodes in school or other public settings is added the discomfort can become almost unbearable. When others witness this behavior we must deal not only with our feelings of overwhelm and confusion but also embarrassment, shame and the sense that others believe we are bad parents.

The good news is that we are not bad parents; what is more likely true is that we are good parents using bad strategies. For many children exhibiting explosive behavior the usual strategies of reward, punishment, etc. do not work.

There are a number of factors that have nothing to do with bad children or bad parents that can lead to explosive behavior. For example, children exhibiting explosive behavior are often lacking in social or communication skills. Additionally, the behavior is often present in children with ADHD and ODD. Explosive behavior serves a purpose that these children do not know how to or are not able to meet in more positive ways. Acknowledging that our children are operating with deficits helps us respond with compassion for them as well as for ourselves.

Ready for more good news? We can help our children work around these deficits and manage frustration, stress and other triggers more appropriately. Yes, it’s very challenging at times but you can do this. In the second part of this article we will look at a few strategies and suggestions for dealing with your explosive child.

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