Parenting Methods
System Abuse
- maj04
- zbarbarag
- jesika15
- zbarbarag
- jesika15
- zbarbarag
- jesika15
- zbarbarag
» maj04 - Cycle of Abuse of the System
People mention that there is a cycle of abuse/domestic violence, but I believe that there is also a Cycle of Abuse of the System. I have recently spoke with a friend of mine who works at human services, we were talking about the number of people who are milking the system for all it has and are teaching this to their children, the next generation does the same thing. When Parents choose to behave in a specific manner their children learn this behavior. What ever happened to teaching our children to work for what they want?? It sickens me that it is easier just to get something for nothing instead of working for it, what is missed is the pride of earning your own money, owning your own home and raising strong independent children who are viable members of society, they know that if you work and earn a living you buy what is within your means, and nothing is free!! Parents should teach their children to have pride in what they can do for themselves not suck the system dry for everything it has.. As a parent I have raised my children to understand that with hard work and dedication you have no limits to what you can achieve. My son recently told me that he doesn't want to go to school to be an architect anymore (he is 14) but he wants to go to school to learn how to "pimp out rides, like on MTV", my response was, the way you like to live way above your means, you better plan on getting a college education and job that you can have a career that will support your golden spoon taste, because out of college your on your own!! He laughed and asked if he can still make a long Christmas list!! He always thinks of something, most importantly I have made every effort to set a strong example of working hard to get everything I have and my 18 yr old daughter does the same, and that makes me very proud.. when she graduates college, she plans on opening her own florist shop, and I am positive that she will, she has the motivation, ambition and drive, and that makes me very proud!!! I would like to hear other opinions on this subject!!!
-- posted by maj04
» zbarbarag - Cycle of Abuse of the System
In response to Cycle of Abuse of the System posted by maj04:
Yes, there are a few bad apples in every bunch, but for the most part families receiving assistance really want to feel personal success, pride and accomplishment, too. Sometimes they simply lack the confidence, skills or resources they need to fashion the fulfilling lives we all deserve. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job of helping your own children grow up to be confident and capable people. They are very lucky. I hope you will consider sharing some of your time and talent with a young boy or girl that could use some encouragement to break the cycle you mention. There is a child out there that really needs you.
-- posted by zbarbarag
» jesika15 - Cycle of Abuse of the System
In response to Cycle of Abuse of the System posted by zbarbarag:
I agree that there are some bad apples, but if they are lacking confidence, skill or resources they need, who is responsible to help improve this? them? or they system? or is it just the way it is? Isn't it human nature to lack confidence at one point or another? what makes these people different? Is it ambition? Laziness? Any other views on this?
-- posted by jesika15
» zbarbarag - Cycle of Abuse of the System
In response to Cycle of Abuse of the System posted by jesika15:
You're absolutely right that personal responsibility figures into this equation. We shouldn't forget, though, that communities and people are interconnected. Real change often comes not only with personal responsibility, but also with shifts in community attitudes as well as political and economic shifts in policy.
-- posted by zbarbarag
» jesika15 - Cycle of Abuse of the System
In response to Cycle of Abuse of the System posted by zbarbarag:
The other day I was talking about this very subject with some friends and the question that came up was, if people are getting help, whether it is welfare or other forms of aid, why don't these people do work for the city/town or community in which they receive this aid from? Kind of a get back to work program. Example, upon collection of welfare or any form of state or community aid, you sign a contract to do certain things in the community you live or help out at certain businesses within that community, with a job tailored to your ability.. I am very involved in the community and seem to see the same people at everything. Ironically, it is the business owers who pay a ridiculous amount for taxes, or members of the community who are employed full time and do not receive any form of aid. This program would also help build self-confidence and may transition people back into the work place, which should be the goal. The system should not be in place for people who just don't want to have a full time job, which in my opinion is the case most of the time.
-- posted by jesika15
» zbarbarag - Cycle of Abuse of the System
In response to Cycle of Abuse of the System posted by jesika15:
Your idea is already in place. Federal guidelines require those receiving benefits, such as Temporary Assistance to Needed Families, be engaged in some sort of work activity or community service. Also, these families are subject to a 48 month lifetime benefits cap. Looks like great minds think alike.
-- posted by zbarbarag
» jesika15 - Cycle of Abuse of the System
In response to Cycle of Abuse of the System posted by zbarbarag:
I understand that the federal guidelines are in place but I feel the intent is challenged, I know may different individuals who collect every benefit they can and the earn a ridiculous amount of money "under the table"... the state departments do not follow up on work activity or community service, that I have seen. There is an awful amount of time in a day to earn money under the table if these individuals are not held to a higher standard. In my opinion, the current system does not work..I think it needs to be more strict and people who commit fraud should be held accountable... it does affect all of us income earning individuals....
-- posted by jesika15
» zbarbarag - Cycle of Abuse of the System
In response to Cycle of Abuse of the System posted by jesika15:
It can be very difficult to watch people engaged in fraud, particularly when you are doing your best to follow the rules and live honestly. Sometimes, people are simply doing what they can to "get over" - other times, in spite of what it looks like, people are doing the very best they can ( remember that everyone's best doesn't look the same or yield the same outcome) to stay afloat while holding onto the hope that things will get better and they can live honestly - without manipulating or abusing the system. You're absolutely right that the system does not work perfectly. In some cases it does not seem to work at all. In the meantime, it is helpful to remember that the primary beneficiaries of federal subsidies are children. No matter whether they have parents that are focused go-getters, or parents that are less than ambitious they still deserve warm beds in stable homes. In Georgia, where I live, a family with one child receives about 235 per month (these families have decreased dramatically in number since welfare reform). They may also receive assistance with medical needs and food - periodic recertification is required and benefits are adjusted accordingly.
As you, I think the problem of poverty is complex and the solution has so far escaped even the most compassionate advocates; still, we must continue the dialogue and make the difference that we can for the people that we can.
-- posted by zbarbarag
Please follow the guidelines set forth in the Suite101 Posting Etiquette when adding to the discussion.