Alternatives to Spanking
What to do when you don't want to pull out the belt.
Many parents that spank their children wish they had another alternative. If that sounds like you, read on for ideas that send a message without spanking.
Some of the most important responsibilities for parents are:
- Helping children learn to behave with consideration of self and others
- Supporting children to develop self control
- Teaching children the small and large community rules that help them successfully navigate life, and
- Guiding children as they are learning to make sound choices and decisions.
But what if your child, deliberately or unintentionally, makes a poor choice? Spanking may not be the best answer. Take a look at these ideas:
Example: Your six year old spills a gallon of milk trying to help himself.
Suggestion: He can make amends by cleaning it up (with a little help from you).
Example: Your four year old displays her latest masterpiece on her bedroom wall.
Suggestion: She can make amends by cleaning the wall (with a little help from you) and/or the crayon/marker privilege can be removed for a day or two.
Example: Your three year old drops to the floor in a fit of tantrum.
Suggestion: He can be removed from the activity until he is calm and quiet.
Example: Your children are fighting over a game or toy again.
Suggestion: You can remind them of your expectation that they take turns or share; then tell them you trust them to work it out. If they continue fighting you can remove the game or toy.
Example: Your five year old continues running in the store, even after you have asked her to stop many times.
Suggestion: You can hold her hand and tell her that she must walk with you or you will leave the store. If this is an ongoing problem you may consider a token or ticket system. Give her a ticket for every ten minutes that she cooperates by walking. ( you can lengthen this time gradually, but initially you want her to feel some immediate success with the new plan). These tickets can later be redeemed for something that is important to her such as extra television time, a later bedtime, etc.
Example: Your children leave their toys all over the house and their bedrooms are a mess.
Suggestion: If they are old enough, let them know that the room must be cleaned and give a deadline. If the problem continues, it may just be that your child has too many toys. Consider starting a toy library. Let them check out one or two toys at a time and return them before checking out anymore.
Example: Your eight year old breaks something and is dishonest when you ask him about what happened.
Suggestions: You can have him pay for the item with his allowance or other earnings; or you can give him additional household chores or you can remove a privilege.
There are many options for helping children get back on track when they behave inappropriately. With a little creativity and planning before the behavior occurs, you are sure to find the right strategy for guiding your children toward responsible behavior.
