Raising Children with ADHD is a challenge. Perhaps your biggest challenge of all will be advocating for your child's best interests.
When your child has ADHD it can feel like the flower you have been so lovingly tending often looks more like a weed. It is tough parenting a child with ADHD. Sometimes it's also frustrating, embarrassing and lonely. It can also be a joy. Children with ADHD are spirited, spontaneous and energetic - you certainly won't have to worry about any dull moments.
Still, it can be easy to feel like a horrible parent when your child behaves as children with ADHD will. Don't. You are not a horrible parent. You are a good parent that can help yourself and your child navigate the many challenges of living with ADHD. You will have a little more to do but - You can do this.
Here are some ways to make it easier and some of the extra responsibilities you'll face along the way.
- Maintain a base of support for yourself and your child
You already know that your parenting path will be a little bumpy. Create opportunities where you can get the support and understanding you need for the road ahead. Don't wait until your tank is empty. Regular self-care is critical. Seeking out friends, places and experiences that recharge you, and bring out the best in you and your child are as important as anything else you do.
- Be an advocate for your child by educating yourself and others
Particularly when your child is school age s/he will encounter more settings where s/he is less likely to meet the behavioral expectations of others. As an advocate for your child, you will need to learn all you can about ADHD and teach others. You can use this information to develop realistic behavioral expectations (which will lead to more success), develop targeted behavior plans, understand the behavior that you see, and guide your child toward people and settings that are more supportive.
- Protect your relationship with your child
Parenting a child with ADHD can be a strain on the entire family. Develop schedules, structures and strategies that minimize the strain. Maintain a sense of humor. Spend time with your child. Manage your frustration by understanding that the behavior has a purpose. Don't let the complaints of others negatively influence your feelings for your child. Create settings and opportunities that remind you of what makes your child great.
- Protect your child's sense of self.
It will be very important not to let your child bear the weight of judgment from others that either don't believe ADHD is real, or have no understanding of its impact. Children with ADHD are often at the receiving end of criticism and correction when they really need kindness and compassion. Be sure that your child is regularly exposed to people and places where s/he can be successful and receive positive feedback. Focus on your child's strengths. Also, talk with your child about ADHD. Let her know that you understand how difficult it can be and brainstorm together about useful strategies.
